my life is a gross cliche
by MorganMagic
Summary: think of a shitty indie romantic comedy that made you think about life and feel sad. Just Karkat and Terezi being shitty sad teenagers and hanging out, wondering why they live and wondering if those stories of love are true. Disclaimer: no one will ever love you and tell you you're perfect because this world is disgusting so hide your eyes darling. (humanstuck)
1. I'm not flirting

"You obviously can't fully appreciate the cultivation in this craft. Romantic comedies are under appreciated and put off ignorantly like a fucking blind minded asshole."

"Does being blind by sight count, because I sure as hell will never understand what the big deal with these movies are. The only credibility is that it makes you a huge soft baby ass when you watch it."

Romantic comedies were a science of great complexity to Karkat. The subtle clichés that popped up in each one were like a nostalgic theme. "Haha. My seams are tearing to shreds, I'm so fucking enthused." He rolled his eyes then quipped in quickly for additive sarcasm. "By the way, because can't tell, I just rolled my eyes so hard at you."

"Be careful Karkat. Keep those precious functioning eyes of yours safe and don't roll them so hard. Imagine if oyou couldn't watch another rom com." Terezi put her hands over his eyes which was responded with disgruntled swears from Karkat.

After shaking off the unwanted hands, Karkat turned off the TV, seeing that it would be a lost cause to try and finish the movie they were watching.

"Oh poor karbaby. If you're not going to keep watching then what will you do?"

"I'll live a real life rom com, definitely." It was obviously sarcastic. Romantic comedies were the most unrealistic depictions of lives. Nobody will ever take your flaws in hand and tell you how perfect you are. Not a single person will seek you out and kiss you in the rain, finished off with a sappy 'I love you' or funny retort. It's all too god to be true so there was the irony; the sarcasm accompanied it in due time.

"Oh I'll definitely be a part of your little movie fantasy." Terezi's voice went annoyingly soft and lightened like she was talking to a baby. Obviously she didn't mean it, simply another flirtatious jab that was accustomed to her personality. "Anyways, I have an important report to finish, one that I'll most definitely ace." She grinned then stood up and shoved Karkat in the arm. "-And lighten up sometime. Just because you don't have your perfect movie life doesn't mean you're doomed for a boring life. Well, your shirt says otherwise….Grey is boring." Her laughter rang all the way on her way out. She bid a goodbye before turning out the door and beginning the trek home.

The rest of the night was boring nothingness. Nobody cares about the process of going to bed. Literally no person, all that's too be said is that falling asleep then waking up in the morning ensued.


	2. Sarcasm is endearing

Elementary school was sticky juice boxes. Terezi once kissed karkat on the cheek. They laugh about that now. Middle school was trying to find out who the hell you are, then coming to the conclusion that you'll probably never know. Karkat got beat up for the first time. High school is just a fancy name for the next level of hell. During that second year, tenth grade Terezi and Karkat hung out. That's it. Thank god it's not over because this is the best chance for the dream you want.

"Dear god please allow me to position my head in the locker so you can repeatedly slam the door on my neck." Karkat slinked beside Terezi down the hallway. It was already fourth period so only four more to go. That doesn't excuse the remnants of monotone voices, contrasted by the teachers who yelled at anything that blinked.

"Wow karkles way to be morbid. Did somebody wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Or did you forget your homework again? Honestly, with you it could be any number of things." She teased him until they got to her locker where he grabbed the things she needed for the next class.

"It's all this homework I just got. I wanted to hang out this weekend but all this work is basically shitting right on my head chanting fuck you karkat…"

The coolest crew ever rolled up to them mid conversation. By coolest crew it was actually Vriska riding on the back of Tavros' wheelchair. They literally rolled though. "-please, you'll make us crash vriska!"

"I've been having to lug around your sorry ass for two years now, I'll do it how I want. You owe me for making me have to do this." Vriska stopped in front of Karkat and Terezi as she put her elbows on the handles of the wheelchair and looked the two. "Weeeeeeeell, look it's the love duo. Gosh I'm just dying from how incredibly precious this is. No, literally dying, it's disgusting."

Terezi sighed; she did not need two loud assholes at one time. "Well Vris, you're clearly just jealous because nobody would voluntarily come within a five foot radius of you because you're attitude legitimately radiates tiny invisible words. Tell me Karkat, can you see with your perfect working eyes the words "huge bitch" in the air? Ahahhahhaha." With a comeback like that most would feel pretty good, she felt a little shitty though. Just because your friends drift away into the deep depths of assholeville, doesn't mean you forget the sound of their laughter and the feeling of when they made you laugh so hard you couldn't breathe. They still WERE your friend at one point.

"We aren't a couple Vriska, now do me a favor and roll away with your wanabee lover please." He grabbed Terezi's shirtsleeve and pulled her to their next class, just leaving behind Vriska and Tavros to go their own way. The class they had now was science and neither had any particular interest but paid attention anyways. Why is school like that? Please somebody explain why one must know the chambers of the heart.

After class was lunch so as usual, Karkat walked Terezi to the lunchroom. "If I can cram that incredulous amount of work in would you like to hang out?" It really was a hollow gesture at that point. The two bickered like an old couple so people assumed they were going out which was false. They hung out practically every weekend doing boring things.

"Karkat. I practically live at your house. The only way I would object hanging out is if I had other obligations… or if I just got sick of your face." She bumped her shoulder to his, which actually met just below his do to the slight height difference.

"You wish you could see my face." He shook his head at how ridiculous she is. Terezi will openly walk right into blind jokes like it was her goal in life. It never bothered her once.

"I do wish I could sometimes." Surprisingly Terezi replied more truthfully, or at least less teasingly. Sometimes she put a hand over his face to feel the slope of his nose and the cracks in his lips, which caused his face to heat up. She could feel that too. The last time she saw Karkat he was young and had a round kids face that had an innocent way about it. Like he was curious to a fault and always questioned why. Maybe because of all that questioning he found out the hard truths of life. Maybe that's why by 8th grade his face felt harder and his brow was always furrowed like he was concentrating to hard on something. She wished she could feel the softness again, instead of the intense angles that proved his dismay.

**Hey. This is my first fic by the way. I really don't mind if you don't like this. I just enjoy writing regardless. Thanks for reading anyways.**


	3. The industry sells lies

"AGH FUCK ME WITH A RAKE THEN SLIT MY THROAT."

Kankri promptly spat his coffee all over the newspaper article he was reading. "Dad! Karkat is being unreasonably loud and vile again!" He shouted to their father who literally had two fucked up sons. One could nit pick anything to find a problem and yet the other did the same thing but instead would get angrily worked up over it. "Honestly, do no people have the common courtesy to leave others in peace. It's an injustice." Kankri muttered to himself, the apparent only sensible person, or so he thought.

"I swear to god I could rip out my eyeballs and shove them up my ass because this is to much bullshit to even begin to grace my eyes." Karkat was talking to himself despite the whole household being able to hear. The amount of homework he had obviously angered him. It had already been an hour, which only led him to finish half of the work. Somehow he thought that he could get it all done before Terezi came over at 4:00. All he had to do was scream at himself and keep pushing through the stress. It only is normal right? Homework totally isn't a huge problem for some people. Hah yeah, it certainly doesn't cause stress and anxiety for students. ITS SUPER-

"Karkat, your little female friend is here!" The second hour really passed up quite fast in a blur of stupidity and banging heads against books.

Just leaving the paper in a pitiful heap, Karkat slumped down the stairs and actually open the door. "Why the fuck can't you just say friend?"

"You specified to cease calling her your girlfriend so I am merely showing some respect for your wishes." Kankri gave a small smirk as if being a difficult asshole was amusing. He didn't think of it that way. Somehow his mind processed that it was okay to call others out on "triggering" actions and such but when he decided to pull some strings and be passive aggressive it was okay.

"Thank you asshole of the year, my apologies but ill have to give you your trophy later." He already had a hand on the door handle and twisted it with a small pull. "-And she's not affiliated with me in any romantic way." Karkat quickly hissed haughtily before looking at Terezi in the doorway.

"Romance? Bleh, Karkat. Who's the unlucky lady?" She teased him while putting a hand on his arm, which extended across the threshold on the door. With a small bend she ducked under his arm and stood behind him, now addressing his brother. "Hey kankri, Latula says hi."

"Ah, yes, send her my regards." He looked up from the paper and gave a tired look to Terezi, fully aware she wouldn't notice, however the attitude followed into his tone. "-and please, stress to her the importance of turning in her history paper. Perfecting a kick turn flip thing-whatever it is, is most certainly not of preeminence."

"Don't worry she sprained her ankle on Wednesday. The forces of school are now inevitable." She laughed considering the irony but stopped once there was a tug on her sleeve.

"Alright, yeah, super. Let's go Terezi. If we stay he'll talk until he uses all the oxygen in the room." Karkat made sure to pull her until she willfully went up the stairs after him. Before Terezi could even think to step foot over the doorway he threw out an arm to stop her. "Hold up" He quickly scooped up all the paper and put it on his bed, whiiiiich she just went over to sit down on. "EH nope nope nope!" he quickly slid between her and the bed and scooted her away with his hip. "Unless you want paper cuts on your ass, don't sit there."

"I knew you wouldn't have finished yet. I suppose my expectations for you are too high. How could you let me down like that Karkat? I mean no seat? I'll just have to sit on you." Terezi took a menacing lunge towards him.

"What no? Back up now. Don't you even dare." She neared closer and closer like a prowling cat, causing Karkat to angrily take a step back until he tripped over a stray book. "FUCK YOU" a fuck you is deserved to anyone who makes your ass connect swiftly with the floor. Especially if that is a blind girl who would take advantage of that fall just to pounce you, all just to prove that she can do whatever she wants. In fact that's exactly what she did. Terezi heard the dull thump of Karkat's ass to the carpet and quickly dropped precisely with an arm beside both of his sides. He only looked at her with the most flustered and horrified look. Honestly, if he blushed anymore his blood vessels would probably go aflame. With a quick and sure as hell unexpected turn she sat herself down on his laugh. The whole time she had a wicked grin that looked like it could show up in your nightmares yet also had some sort of odd appeal.

"Don't be so rigid it's uncomfortable." She leaned her head back and bits of her hair fell and tickled his face. "So what's on our agenda? Don't say romcoms because that's stupid….. Hey, hey Karkat. What about we put on some music and be ridiculous? That sounds like you any other day." Just as spontaneously before Terezi stood up and grabbed him by the wrists to pull him. "C'mon. At least humor me."

Karkat got up and sighed. Seriously, there is a sweet girl wanting to just hang out and waste all her time. She's a little strange with her overbearing smile but the laugh that passes by is so nice. The way that her laugh hitched higher in the beginning and subsided to a few giggles. He shook his head and went the sound system that was next to his computer. Preferably he liked punk and angsty music that fit his personality. Terezi on the other hand liked upbeat things you could dance to. In the middle he settled on a cd he had made just for when she came over. It had some of her favorites and a few punk songs with electro basslines so they both liked it. Subtly snuck in were a few songs with suggestive lyrics geared towards relationships. It was an ignorant choice that probably just occurred in one of those rare moments when you sit down and try to comprehend how grateful you are for a person. Well, hopefully everyone had moments like that.

"Hah! Best tracks Karkat. Maybe strider ought to give up the DJing to you. I always like your playlists. Even the gloomy ones you probably cry to." After a little bump of her hip to his, Terezi tool his wrists in hand and dance. It was actually more like ridiculous swaying around; like a drunken person trying to participate in ring around the rosie. "See you do like doing this. I know you do." She grinned and succumbed him to her games of twisting, turning, and occasionally bumping in to each other. Thankfully Karkat would grab hold of her and give a tug if she came to close to bumping into something. For her that was exciting and in an odd way she loved that. Instead of harmlessly bumping into his dresser or into the bed stand; he would obviously watch and make a conscious effort to keep her from getting hurt. That's how she liked to think of it at least.

The aggressive dance song slowly subsided and left them (mostly Terezi) panting. That is how Karkat planned his interjection of music. He knew her well enough that she likes to dance enough to tire herself out so she couldn't complain when his slower song came on. It was unknown to him that she liked it as much as she did, considering she teased him about it.

For this time the dancing wouldn't stop. In an easy slide, Terezi draped her arms over Karkat's shoulders and she made them sway side to side.

"What are you doing? Ugh come on, this is the most ridiculous thing. I'm not doing this." From the mischievous smile on her face he knew she wouldn't let him go. It was also a moment where his subconscious dragged him in his head and slapped him with a realization. It practically screamed; there is the girl you so obviously have liked since eighth grade. She has her arms around her neck and there isn't a foot between you. Before a stupid dazed look crept to his face Karkat listened to his mind and took the opportunity. His arms reluctantly circled around her waist and comfortably lied against her.

"I remember when you took me to homecoming but we obviously weren't a couple. That's good because then I didn't have to dance stupidly like this." She rested her chin on his shoulder. "But because we weren't a thing, you couldn't kiss me in front of the doorstep." The flirtatious meaningless comments like that were normal. But this time Terezi's voice wasn't harsh and joking. It should have been a warning because she stopped talking before her laugh could accompany the joke. Instead her lips got closer until she kissed him. Just before he could comprehend and fully enjoy it, she pulled away as gentle as she came forward to give it. "-then again. Things like that only happen in your dumb movies."

"Karkat, Dad would like to know if you were planning to have your friend stay for din-" Kankri stopped mid sentence and stared at his brother and _friend_ standing chest to chest and tangled in arms. "AGH! Honestly, does no one have decency!? Just tell father yourself." He slammed the door shut and hurried down the stairs very flustered; simply leaving the two awkwardly entangled with each other.

**Listen to 'Post Acid' by wavves. It makes me think of these two.**


End file.
